Monday, October 24, 2011

what am I still doing in this town?

Somehow I've always thought that I would leave this town, someday. Even this country. I would be successfull in another part of the world, I would be happy and everyone would think of me like the girl who did something with herself, who travelled, who won.

Now... I'm not that sure. Sure, I've got plans. And I've ambitions. But what else? Can't really rely on myself, I have got the worst self-discipline in the WORLD. No joke. However, I'll just have to face the bull and go on a crazy ride. Tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

MTV and donuts

Still sick. Still confused. And still craving som excitement, why can't my life be a TV-show?

Confessions of a temperamental partygirl with a wicked sense of humor.
Who would'nt want to watch that?! Well... Anyway... Back to schoolwork. Love it!

Monday, October 17, 2011


Okey, so not even tea helped and I am pretty sure that all the cough drops I've been eating like a lunatic is having a finger in this game called "Impossible to Sleep".

Mission failed, but I still think it's time to hit the bed. Even though I'm waiting for a response, but I'm taking the non-excisting answer as a hint that he's just not that interested in talking to me. Oh god, when will I stop being all emo? It's not cool.

Over and out, and so on.

Jealousy is the fuel to my heart

How many times has love just come and gone for her, while for me... It has'nt? Not even once. And can I just stop dreaming of this guy? This friend. This dead-end. Do I have to become a skitch to get guys attention? Hell to the NO...

I'll need more paper and a hell lot of more tea to get through this night. Sweet dreams everyone.


I'm no different, even though I sometimes wish I was. I'm not the funny, dorky girl who fascinates the "cool guy", which we don't even have here in Sweden. We're not divided into groups, with popular kids, non-popular and plain janes. We're all plain Janes here in Sweden, and if you're not... You'll probably get called a bitch with too much selfconfidence. You're no better than anyone else here in Sweden. And we don't date. If someone asks someone out, it's a BIG deal. And it will probably ruin the whole thing, why couldn't he just have been at the same party? And got drunk. That's how we roll in Sweden.

I'm no different, even though I sometimes wish I was. I'm a dreamer, I admit that. A big dorky dreamer. I have always thought that Sweden is no place for me, I've always wanted to go on a real US high school, with prom and different status-groups. I've always wanted to be asked out on a date = I've always wanted to live in an American High School Teenage Movie.

I'm no different, even though I sometimes wish I was. I'm not That Girl, I'm just... Girl.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

I still feel it in my guts.

22.22... I've been thinking constantly about you in 1 year, 8 months, 3 days, 10 hours and 23 minutes now.

Conclusion: It's not getting easier with time. It doesn't fade away. Instead, it grows. In every direction.

Progress: None.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

summer's gone and all I do is still smoking cigarettes with my friends.

is it going to be a repeat? is she going to take him away from me?
how could she take something from me, that I never had.
why do I still tell myself that I don't care, when it hurts so bad?

look in the mirror girl, you're not over him.
look in the mirror girl, you'll never let anyone else in.
he's stolen your heart, with no resistance
and he took your body and soul with him

Friday, July 1, 2011

so... now what?

I've been so full of life, happiness and love during one hour that would have lasted a lifetime. Perfection and pure joy. So... now what?

Paolo Nutini was the best live-act I've ever seen. Wednesday 29th of June 2011, Peace & Love festival. Afterwards Iwas still so happy and up in the air, but now... It's quite empty. Crazy, and dorky, I know. But when will I get to see him and the band again? Hopefully on a smaller gig. In a club. With an afterparty. But that's just high hopes, right? (Haha)

So... now what?

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

never let me go

Just like in the movies, I've always hoped that you, underneath, always loved me.
And I've always hoped that whenever you found a girl you compared her with me.
Just like I always hoped that everytime we were alone you would tell me how much I meant.
And I've always hoped that you would see, what I see, that we are meant to be.

I think it's written in the stars, but somehow there's always clouds in your eyes.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

what a difference a day made

this blog is kinda dead.
and that's great, 'cause that means
that I don't have anything "secret"
that I wish to publish, so everything is
published on my original blog

but to say something... just to say something... - I only love at night, but I don't mind. I'll be going home in the dawn and I don't mind at all. :)

24 little hours

Monday, May 9, 2011

and I do everything I should'nt

I fall in love.

GREAT IDEA. summers here. and all I do is smoking cigarettes with my mates. not good.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

thursdays' always a little sadder than wednesdays.

Veronica Maggio - Snälla bli min (Spotify)

I hate that I love you so. The only cure is for me to go.

When I get thin... When I turn pretty... When I take a chance... When I practice on piano... When I get rid of this stupid cold... When I turn brave...

I'll tell you everything.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

long time no see?

It's crazy how much other peoples thoughts about a person effects your own towards him or her.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

now he knows

I'm so angry I could burst out into flames. FUCK IT. FUCKFUCKFUCK FUCK IT.

I don'twant to be mad at you honey, but you're not making it any easier sugar.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

and now we've kissed, let's make the most of it

sunny side up. turkey and festival is on my schedule this summer. can't wait!!!
but... while I'm waiting I can always listen to The View's new album Bread and Circuses... every single track on the album is GRRR to the E A T, no joke!

for more pictures, visit my original blog (psst heads up! ... it's on swedish)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

please, hear me out

I just wish that you would love me. The way that I love you.
I just wish that for one day, you'd look at me, the way you look at her.
And I just wish that for only one day I'll have you all by myself.

Cause the truth is, that I could look at you forever.
Just look without a touch. I'd do that, even how hard it may be.
But it hurts knowing, that I can only look.

It's not easy getting jealous on your best friend. When it is'nt her fault that your love fancy her instead.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

the exciting thing is that people may know...

... but you can't be sure if they do.

It's crazy, really.... I think that I'm in love. But then, I don't know. And do I really want someone? Do I want him? Do I like him? Do I love him? Sometimes I think that just anybody would be fine, and the next day not even the love of my life (which I can't be sure of if he really is the love of my life) fits me.

And I think that I like one guy, then I get jealous and maybe even a little sad when the other one kisses another girl. I don't even know why I wrote this. Ha-ha. But still, the exciting thing is that people may know...

Sunday, April 3, 2011

padam, padam

Last night, I got jealous. Last night, I got drunk. Last night, I got kissed by sweetsweet lips. Last night, I realized that I actually wished that those sweetsweet lips was yours.

I can't help falling for you, over and over again. Everytime we touch, talk, walk. I'm falling, oh boy... I'm falling.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

on the streets down in little italy

just finished my test in italian, feels nice to have it on my first lesson 8 in the morning... not.

Monday, March 28, 2011

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I don't want to be, your second best
Or just to be somebody on your list
I don't want you, if it's not for real
So come on and show me, how you feel

I want you baby, if you want me

I want to show you, how much I care
But I don't know, how much I dare
Please don't make a fool out of me
Just please don't make a fool out of me

'Cause I want you baby, if you want me

Sunday, March 27, 2011

I'll do it tomorrow

Where did I go wrong?

... Oh I need to study italian, real bad. But I'm to lazy. Ha-ha. Where did I go wrong?

Saturday, March 26, 2011

gant rugger, spring/summer 2011

GANT Rugger, Spring/Summer 2011. I sometimes wish that I was a boy so that I could wear their lovely clothes.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

ooooooooh crap

I went from tired to angry all of a sudden. Perhaps not the most uncommon... Ha ha. But still, felt kinda wierd. First tired, a bit bored - to - angry and pissed off. Well... it's thursday... Can't really expect anything better...

Big Brother on TV now, and I'm not gonna give a f*ck about the english-test tomorrow... BUT I'm gonna experience some english culture and have a cup of tea, while I'm watching hilarious crap-TV. Gotta looooove it.

thanks, and bye for now.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

I got a feeling you're not waiting by the phone

sundays would'nt be so bad, if they did'nt come just before the day of doom... m to the oooonday.

either way, my weekend has been smooth. friday - party, saturday - chillination at my place with Klara.

found this terrific video on my moms phone, she has'nt really figured out how to change from recording mode, to picture mode. so I give you this sweet vid of two, hopefully (or at best... soon to be) , laddergoats.

and... another Västerås-band is now on Spotify, this time it is Johnny Rex. they're A W E S O M E , no joke. listen to their album here!

thanks, and bye for now.

things I'll never wear

Saturday, March 19, 2011

some things can only be healed by time

I have come to realize that all these "hints" are just the way you work. it's how you act around your girlfriends. and it's cool that you can be so casual, I loved it from the beginning, I did'nt have a problem with it at all... but now I have come to realize that the problem is that I love it, oh gosh I love it, and how I hate that I do. Fuck.

psst... my friends at school have a great indierock-band, Joy Society. and their single is now on spotify, go and check it out here!

(pic, weheartit)

Friday, March 18, 2011

thank god it's friday

weekend, feels awesome. I want to party, wanted to text people to see what's up. but I could'nt 'cause all my contacts has been deleted. G R E A T . but I'm gonna have an epic weekend no matter what, hope you do too.

thanks, and bye for now

Thursday, March 17, 2011

i c u

it's getting harder each day, it's getting harder not to act out. not to scream, not to cry, not to jump up and kiss the soft lips of his. if anyone has ever been in a similar situation, please raise your hand? oh ofcourse, sorry...

the situation: in love with a dear friend. with a great friend. perhaps even your best friend ever. you know, bff's - or maybe not. but at least a... friend.

thanks, and bye for now.

sthlm - save yourself