Monday, October 24, 2011

what am I still doing in this town?

Somehow I've always thought that I would leave this town, someday. Even this country. I would be successfull in another part of the world, I would be happy and everyone would think of me like the girl who did something with herself, who travelled, who won.

Now... I'm not that sure. Sure, I've got plans. And I've ambitions. But what else? Can't really rely on myself, I have got the worst self-discipline in the WORLD. No joke. However, I'll just have to face the bull and go on a crazy ride. Tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

MTV and donuts

Still sick. Still confused. And still craving som excitement, why can't my life be a TV-show?

Confessions of a temperamental partygirl with a wicked sense of humor.
Who would'nt want to watch that?! Well... Anyway... Back to schoolwork. Love it!

Monday, October 17, 2011


Okey, so not even tea helped and I am pretty sure that all the cough drops I've been eating like a lunatic is having a finger in this game called "Impossible to Sleep".

Mission failed, but I still think it's time to hit the bed. Even though I'm waiting for a response, but I'm taking the non-excisting answer as a hint that he's just not that interested in talking to me. Oh god, when will I stop being all emo? It's not cool.

Over and out, and so on.

Jealousy is the fuel to my heart

How many times has love just come and gone for her, while for me... It has'nt? Not even once. And can I just stop dreaming of this guy? This friend. This dead-end. Do I have to become a skitch to get guys attention? Hell to the NO...

I'll need more paper and a hell lot of more tea to get through this night. Sweet dreams everyone.


I'm no different, even though I sometimes wish I was. I'm not the funny, dorky girl who fascinates the "cool guy", which we don't even have here in Sweden. We're not divided into groups, with popular kids, non-popular and plain janes. We're all plain Janes here in Sweden, and if you're not... You'll probably get called a bitch with too much selfconfidence. You're no better than anyone else here in Sweden. And we don't date. If someone asks someone out, it's a BIG deal. And it will probably ruin the whole thing, why couldn't he just have been at the same party? And got drunk. That's how we roll in Sweden.

I'm no different, even though I sometimes wish I was. I'm a dreamer, I admit that. A big dorky dreamer. I have always thought that Sweden is no place for me, I've always wanted to go on a real US high school, with prom and different status-groups. I've always wanted to be asked out on a date = I've always wanted to live in an American High School Teenage Movie.

I'm no different, even though I sometimes wish I was. I'm not That Girl, I'm just... Girl.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

I still feel it in my guts.

22.22... I've been thinking constantly about you in 1 year, 8 months, 3 days, 10 hours and 23 minutes now.

Conclusion: It's not getting easier with time. It doesn't fade away. Instead, it grows. In every direction.

Progress: None.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

summer's gone and all I do is still smoking cigarettes with my friends.

is it going to be a repeat? is she going to take him away from me?
how could she take something from me, that I never had.
why do I still tell myself that I don't care, when it hurts so bad?

look in the mirror girl, you're not over him.
look in the mirror girl, you'll never let anyone else in.
he's stolen your heart, with no resistance
and he took your body and soul with him

Friday, July 1, 2011

so... now what?

I've been so full of life, happiness and love during one hour that would have lasted a lifetime. Perfection and pure joy. So... now what?

Paolo Nutini was the best live-act I've ever seen. Wednesday 29th of June 2011, Peace & Love festival. Afterwards Iwas still so happy and up in the air, but now... It's quite empty. Crazy, and dorky, I know. But when will I get to see him and the band again? Hopefully on a smaller gig. In a club. With an afterparty. But that's just high hopes, right? (Haha)

So... now what?